Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
