I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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