did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
