I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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