it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize