Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
