my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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