OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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