this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
