i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
