You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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