We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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