Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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