if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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