In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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