billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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