Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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