I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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