There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
