I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
