Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize