I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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