Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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