i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Randomize