Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
