There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
