Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's blow job season.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
