Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
