just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im holly from the hills drunk
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
