i need an iv and a liver transplant
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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