I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
