you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
