Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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