Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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