She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
