I need help removing her.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
