Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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