She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize