i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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