the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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