You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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