brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
