I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
