I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
