True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
