I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize