Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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