chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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