I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
