I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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