Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
