Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
