you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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