He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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