People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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