windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
