Your mouth is God's brothel.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
zippers are such a cool invention
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
