WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
