I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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