hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
