Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
