dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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