I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
