I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
