My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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