the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
