Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
