she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
