I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
